Ladies and Gentlemen of the world. Porn is fine. It’s okay to watch it. Sometimes it’s even good and healthy and awesome to watch it. Don’t be embarrassed that you watch it. Don’t be jealous that your lover watches it. Don’t be hard on your teenager if you catch them watching it. Sex is fascinating. It’s normal and healthy and good. Watching other people have sex can have a profound and life changing impact. Short of getting to watch your close friends that you are comfortable with have sex, watching porn may be the next best. You can learn from good porn. See something you have never thought of. Learn something new. Become inspired. Be awed by the varied shapes, sizes, wants, needs and desires of different people and bodies.

Obviously there is some debate about the merits of porn re: whether or not it’s a healthy portrayal of women, how they want to be treated (or should be treated), what they should like or want, and what their bodies should look like. I know there are plenty of feminists who will argue that the negatives far outweigh the benefits of the porn industry. But I say this. Just stop watching shitty porn. You have simply got to see good feminist porn.

It’s hard to find, so I’ve sorted a few starting points out for you.

Tristan Taormino is absolutely my favorite porn director/sex educator. She has the most feminist bad ass approach to pornography and hot/sexy/informative sex education. The first film of hers I ever saw was The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Woman. She somehow combines an informative how-to video with some hot damn porn. You can be into anal sex or not, I would recommend checking this out as a good intro to how porn can be more than grody degrading cum shots.

For feminist porn that isn’t instructional in nature, take a look at her Chemistry series. This is a brilliant, hot, unscripted porn series where she hires porn stars, puts them in a house together for a weekend, and films them fucking. It is so good. If you have a hard time getting into the idea of porn but are still compelled to take a look, start with this. Complete with interviews with the actors/actresses; it’s fascinating and hot.

I could go on about Tristan forever, but i will let you do some exploring on your own.

Annie Sprinkle! Goddess of Sex! So her porn is a little dated, but her books are fucking outstanding. It’s a stellar look into her life. Her website is a great resource for a sex positive outlook. One of her best contributions to society was the Public Cervix Announcement. As a post-porn performance artist, Annie did a performance piece where she invited the audience to the stage to take a look at her cervix. Thank you, Annie!

violet blue. Author of The Smart Girls Guide to Porn, violet blue knows her feminist porn. I admit that there was a time in my life I though I needed to be against porn to be a feminist. Fuck that! Porn can be fun if you have a positive approach to it and can feel good about the actors/actresses.

And of course Nina Hartley is simply a classic with a lot of great stuff to say. As a veteran of the porn industry, folks have a lot to learn from her. One of my favorite quotes from her regarding the possibility of men taking a degrading lesson from porn: “Watching pornography to find out about how sex works is like watching a James Bond movie to find out how spies do their job.” (Read the whole interview at Jezebel. Don’t love everything she says, but do love and respect everything about her. Porn is political for sure.)

Also, youporn dot com is fine for some porn access (you can even find sasha grey on there), but it’s best to be selective about what you are watching so you know you are getting the good stuff. I recommend finding what you like and feeling good and healthy about it before going there.

I’m sure I’ll post more about porn someday when the news has lots to say about the porn industry, but this is just a little intro. Porn doesn’t have to be degrading. Watch it alone, watch it with your partner. Turn it off when you don’t like it. Discuss it. Do it. Enjoy! Sex is for fun and exploration. Porn doesn’t have to be a bad place to start.