Category: Sex

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Politics Sex

Mayor Cory Booker, Civil Rights Not Up For A Vote

Mayor Cory Booker, in an elegant and forceful way, says exactly why human rights shouldn’t be put up to a vote. There have been moments in America’s history when just about any group’s rights would have been taken away if put to a popular vote. Irish immigrants, Japanese immigrants, Catholics, women, blacks, interracial couples, and now queer folk, the list of people who’s rights would have been taken away if put to a vote is long. Our history is basically the history of each of these groups fighting for equal rights.

The daily show really sums it up perfectly.

There are so many people in this country that fought tooth and nail to get the rights that are supposedly given to all. And after that long hard struggle so many of them seemed to be perfectly happy to turn around and ignore other groups fighting a similar fight.

Gay rights are not just for gay people, they reflect on us as a nation. Until every citizen has the same full legal rights, none of us are really living up to our potential as a nation. Thanks Mayor Booker for laying it out so clearly.

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Sex

Piss, A Video About Trying To Get Your Feminist Boyfriend To Pee On You

Men can (and should) be feminists. The entire world would be better. But some men, usually the ones who are kind and understanding, and sensitive, and deeply committed feminists, sometimes have trouble dealing with the full implications of the feminist movement. By which I mean they sometimes have trouble having sex with a woman. Especially when she wants him to do something that isn’t missionary style, stare into her eyes, romantic intercourse.

I have actually heard it lamented by women that “feminist boys will go down on you all day, but just don’t fuck that well.” They say this not to demean these boys, but rather to point out that you don’t have to give up your animal passions to be a feminist. You can in a very egalitarian manner, taking full account of the equality of your partner, and in a manner consistent with major feminist theory, pee on a woman. Especially, and this is kind of the point, if the woman desperately wants you to.

The idea of women being equal includes the idea that some women want to be pissed on, some want to be smacked around, tied up, or called a dirty slut. Equality demands that women have access to these choices, even if they choose not to take them. Being equal in power means you can choose to give it up.

I loved this video, I thought it was funny and raised some interesting issues about power dynamics, feminism, and quirky romance. I thought it had a nice happy ending, and I was really excited to see so many complicated ideas expressed in such an elegant way. Watch it again, it will warm your heart.

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Politics Sex

Open Up

No matter how much you love to hate Newt Gingrich, I have one thing to say to this man. Thanks. Only in this very specific instance, but thanks nonetheless. Thanks for making Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up sell out on amazon.

The week following reports of Newt Gingrich asking his second wife, Marianne, for an open marriage gave us a spattering of fascinating articles about open relationships, from the New York Times to the BBC to the Guardian. I was so pleased to see how many articles featured people who were legit sources on the topic (Dan Savage, Jenny Block, Tristan Taormino, etc!)  The amazing thing about it all was everyone was on board saying, “Newt couldn’t have approached it more wrong, but there is actually a right way to do it.”

Obviously six years into an illicit affair is not the time to say, “hey honey, do you think we should open this marriage up?!” Not a soul who supports open relationships would say that is an appropriate tact to take.  No one would deny that Newt is a slimy, cheating, lying and downright grody man.  All I am saying is, it has opened up a dialogue about open relationships in some really fascinating ways. It could have gone disastrously and tainted the good name of loving, honest and consent based open relationships, but instead it created a space for making them acceptable. So yay.

If only every disaster that man created could end in something compelling.