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Booty Politics Politics Science Sex

Morning After!!

At last! A judge ordered the FDA to allow the morning after pill, Plan B, to be available over the counter!

Hurrah!

Plan B is not my favorite pill to take, because it can be crampy and make you cranky, but seriously, the drug is as safe as anything and it’s important to have access to it.

Yay for sensibility taking over. No need to have be legislating sexual morality.

plan-b

Categories
Booty Politics Sex

Bang With Friends

Bang with Friends: it’s useability is clunky at best, but I love the concept.

Ya’ll had to have known I’d review Bang With Friends so you can decide if you want to use it or not.

Of course, it’s kind of useless if you don’t all use it, so you better just sign up now & we’ll all see how it goes together.

So here is the situation. It’s an incredibly low tech/low input site that connects via Facebook to allow you to choose friends you might be interesting in, well, banging. I guess that’s why it’s so simple. Because it’s just that simple.

You basically agree to let it access your facebook, and then a page indiscriminately comes up with all of your friends profile photos. It’s like a sloppy collage. Below the name you can click “Down to Bang” or keep scrolling.

bang

Once clicked, their photo is just there with “Awaiting Bang” glaring you in the face – like all of your failed flirtations just flaunting themselves for the world to see.

It’s nerve wracking!

Next! Someone that you have clicked on clicks on you. Then you get an email (to your real email address, not to your facebook address, which kind of annoyed me because email is more real to me and only for real and important things, not like messing around on this website). The email is entitled “It’s flirtin’ time!” and comes from “pimpin.” (Really? Cute or gross?! Not sure). It happily tells you “This fuck brought to you by Bang With Friends,” which I appreciate. Score for foul language.

You can click the link and see who said they would bang you.

(Never fear, privacy protectors! You only get an email saying someone is into you if you’ve also clicked them. There is no way they will ever know unless you both indicated interest).

Now, if said bang buddy has the gall to email you (might as well, since now you know anyway!), you get another email from pimpin telling you “It’s bangin’ time!” Addressed to “Hey, sexy,” they want you to know “Your friend wants to knock boots with you!” (Again, for the most part I appreciate their ridiculous lingo). Hilariously, if you email someone first, it suggests some starter text “Hey baby, let’s get a little more comfortable.” Which would make me decidedly uncomfortable, but whatever gets people to get some, I guess.

So here are my technical qualms:

-I got all trigger happy and just started clicking people! Oh yes, I’d bang them! Without thinking about it. And it appears there is no way to unclick them. What if I accidentally clicked them? What if I would have hooked up with them last week, but this week I’m over them? What if since I clicked that I was “down to bang” said person, they started dating my best friend?! The tragedies.

There needs to be a search function!!! What if I signed up with a specific desire to bang in mind? I know who my friends are. I know which of them I would do. Why can’t I just get to it and find them, rather than scroll through everyone (somewhat embarrassingly), fretfully looking for that person, who may never pop up?! Arghh!!

-There is literally no discrimination regarding who you can click and not click on. Not that I’m facebook friends with anyone’s grandma, but I certainly don’t want to be clicking my cousins, siblings, or best friend’s aunt. There should be a filter that makes it so your family isn’t an option. For uncles with different last names/you haven’t listed them as family, there should be a “dude, that’s my uncle, don’t ever show me their picture again” button. I know they’ve said they are working on this, but it can’t be that hard.

-There should also be a way you can create your own filters. Like a “no way I’d never bang them please don’t show me their picture” button for your best friend’s little sister. Or a “I just broke up with this person, please hide their face from me for the next 6 months or appropriate waiting time for me to try to bang them again.” Honestly, I feel a little bit like I violated some of my friends just by looking at their profile picture via this forum. Some people have pictures of their infant babies as their profile picture. I couldn’t help but be like “OH NO! BABY! & I’m not a homewrecker!” I want to filter out these people too. I love you, but don’t want to violate you with my inappropriate glances. Basically, I just want to categorize all my friends.

-There was an early user complaint that you could only pick people of the opposite gender. Which is obviously fucked up and unacceptable and totally archaic. They seem to have solved the problem, but in a really sloppy way. I guess not everyone indicates their gender on their facebook page, so that may be the root of this problem, but when you first open the page it shows you literally everyone. Then you can click on the gender symbol for male or female, but really, that doesn’t work either, because if I never said my gender on facebook, I’ll go in either category. I know it’s a little much to ask this service to let me say “I am generally more attracted to female identified folks” or whathaveyou, but I get the feeling this will be a problem for some people. Some dudes just want to do dudes and not find their lady friends on Bang With Friends. (My personal feelings about gender identity aside…)

-I wouldn’t mind if there was an option to email me even if I didn’t click you. I mean, of course they could just regular email me, but this forum might just give them the kick in the pants they need to say “hey, you would definitely do.” Maybe I just hadn’t thought of you in that way, but I will once you email me.

My emotional qualms:

Well, really I don’t actually have any emotional qualms because I wholeheartedly support the idea of having it be fine to occasionally sleep with your friends if everyone is being mature & smart & safe & communicative about it. (Though one could argue if you needed this app to make it happen, you may not have those things, but….)

But the experience did make me stop in my tracks a bit. How responsible do I have to be for who I click on? How seriously should I take it? What if I would sleep with one of my married friends? I mean, I have a friend with a kid who I have the craziest sexual chemistry with. If the opportunity to cheat fell in my lap, I wouldn’t say no. I guess he knows this already though, so maybe it’s a moot point. It still gave me some moments of existential crisis. Should I cast a wider net, or a more conservative net?!

It’s a lot easier to click on someone in an abstract way than it is to actually fuck them. I guess when it got down to it, you could back out.

All these things made me really pull back on my trigger happy clicking. I guess I felt I really should be able to put my money where my mouth is (my pussy where my click is?) and only click the people I truly would in fact fuck right then and there. Some messy questions can come up about whether or not you’d be willing to risk that friendship for a fuck, but the hope is if they are clicking you, they’ve thought it through, too.

Frankly, friendships get ruined by this sorta mess anyway, so why not get laid more often by the people you love already?

Overall, dead serious, I love this idea. It’s 8 bazillion times better than getting drunk and accidentally fucking your friend. At least you both consciously and soberly said it seemed like a good idea, and then had to exchange at least one awkward laugh/email/text/conversation about it to make it happen.

So, go forth and sign up. Then tell me you are down to bang, and it’s kind of likely I’ll do it.

xox

Categories
Sex

Your Sex Life Is Boring Compared To The Sex Lives Of Animals

Combines all my favorite things, sex, science, and campy humor.

http://www.earth-touch.com/ Let’s talk about sex. And not just any old sex. The animal kingdom is a wild place — and it’s got mating habits to match. We’re getting it on with kinky rituals, titillating pheromones, post-coital cannibalism, golden showers, orgy marathons & penises that put King Kong to shame. Biologist-with-a-twist Dr Carin Bondar is stripping down to the bare truth of nature’s X-rated side.

Categories
Booty Politics Politics Sex

A Visual Guide to Why Sex Ed is Good!

It’s really hard to argue with this beautious infographic on why we need sex education.

I often blame my poor introduction to sexuality on my poor sexual education. Our health teacher literally used to say “down there” to us. When oh when do we get to stand up and shout “this is unacceptable! We deserve better!”

There is nothing more obvious than the importance of teaching kids how to be healthy about sex. And occasionally, there is nothing more helpful than a visual guide for why something is a good idea.

Check it:

Reproductive Health Education

Categories
Booty Politics Politics Sex

Plan B!

Exciting new development on the Plan B front! It seems that New York City is going to pioneer this badass new program in which girls as young as 14 will have access to over the counter emergency contraception from school nurses.

They have so far been sneaky about revealing plans and testing out the pilot program, but if it goes well I think it’s going to be an amazing start to a future where the kids who really need it get access to the birth control they really need! (Birth control in the non-emergency form will be/has also been made available).

All ye non-believers out there: I have argued again and again that kids are having sex anyway – the availability isn’t going to make them have more sex. It’s just going to make it easier to do it safely. Hurrah!

Categories
Booty Politics Politics

Planned Parenthood endorses Obama

Planned Parenthood rarely endorses a candidate, but they just endorsed Obama today.

With all the nonsense we have been up against in the past few months fighting to support very basic things like birth control, the idea of a Romney presidency is terrifying for sure.

Whether or not you feel jazzed about politics, think Obama has been a let down, or don’t think your vote matters, I personally think it’s important to consider the alternative. These are the moments where it actually matters who the president is. No need to go back into the dark ages on birth control, abortion, and access to basic women’s health care.

Categories
Sex

Fifty Shades of Vag Balls.

I have this concern that I’m not truly a blogger until I’ve read and analyzed Fifty Shades of Grey all over this town.

But I don’t have time for this crap so here’s the biz.

1. It doesn’t matter how, if housewives are getting off I support it.
2. My thoughts about BDSM will have to be addressed elsewhere, but if this somehow unleashes someone’s fantasy, good on em.
3. WHOOOP for the increased sales of Ben Wa balls.

#3 is my main and favorite concern here. I hope people all across America are doing their Kegel’s right now.

Can’t help but post this hilarious video from Fun Factory, a sex toy maker.

Despite the bad music, it does contain truth about your pelvic floor muscles, childbirth, sex and all that healthy vagina goodness. So, YEAH.

Categories
Booty Politics Politics Religion Sex

Shame on you, North Carolina.

Oh North Carolina.

You exhaust me.

I am cynical enough that I wasn’t surprised by the news that North Carolina voted for an amendment to their state constitution to ban same sex marriage. As if their law banning it wasn’t enough. Better make it double secret safe.

If you have to defend it that hard, when do you come to the realization that obviously your opinions are getting a little silly and outdated.

30 states in the nation are so afraid that they gays might ruin the sanctity of their god fearing marriages that they won’t allow consenting adults to do what they damn please.

One day we’ll get it right, but until then, le sigh…

Categories
Politics Religion Science Sex

Right Wing Homophobes, Really Just Afraid Of Themselves?

My favorite kind of science is the “duh” science. Usually people make fun of it, because the published findings have titles like “Water makes you wet.” or “Hungry people like food.” Sure you can laugh, but without someone going out and doing this basic science, its impossible to move on to more complicated and advanced things. So when I read this recent studies headline “Is Some Homophobia Self-Phobia?” all I could say to myself was “duh!”

Homophobia is more pronounced in individuals with an unacknowledged attraction to the same sex and who grew up with authoritarian parents who forbade such desires, a series of psychology studies demonstrates.

The study is the first to document the role that both parenting and sexual orientation play in the formation of intense and visceral fear of homosexuals, including self-reported homophobic attitudes, discriminatory bias, implicit hostility towards gays, and endorsement of anti-gay policies. Conducted by a team from the University of Rochester, the University of Essex, England, and the University of California in Santa Barbara, the research will be published the April issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

“Individuals who identify as straight but in psychological tests show a strong attraction to the same sex may be threatened by gays and lesbians because homosexuals remind them of similar tendencies within themselves,” explains Netta Weinstein, a lecturer at the University of Essex and the study’s lead author.

“In many cases these are people who are at war with themselves and they are turning this internal conflict outward,” adds co-author Richard Ryan, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester who helped direct the research.

The paper includes four separate experiments, conducted in the United States and Germany, with each study involving an average of 160 college students. The findings provide new empirical evidence to support the psychoanalytic theory that the fear, anxiety, and aversion that some seemingly heterosexual people hold toward gays and lesbians can grow out of their own repressed same-sex desires, Ryan says. The results also support the more modern self-determination theory, developed by Ryan and Edward Deci at the University of Rochester, which links controlling parenting to poorer self-acceptance and difficulty valuing oneself unconditionally.

The findings may help to explain the personal dynamics behind some bullying and hate crimes directed at gays and lesbians, the authors argue. Media coverage of gay-related hate crimes suggests that attackers often perceive some level of threat from homosexuals. People in denial about their sexual orientation may lash out because gay targets threaten and bring this internal conflict to the forefront, the authors write.

The research also sheds light on high profile cases in which anti-gay public figures are caught engaging in same-sex sexual acts. The authors write that this dynamic of inner conflict may be reflected in such examples as Ted Haggard, the evangelical preacher who opposed gay marriage but was exposed in a gay sex scandal in 2006, and Glenn Murphy, Jr., former chairman of the Young Republican National Federation and vocal opponent of gay marriage, who was accused of sexually assaulting a 22-year-old man in 2007.

“We laugh at or make fun of such blatant hypocrisy, but in a real way, these people may often themselves be victims of repression and experience exaggerated feelings of threat,” says Ryan. “Homophobia is not a laughing matter. It can sometimes have tragic consequences,” Ryan says, pointing to cases such as the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard or the 2011 shooting of Larry King.

To explore participants’ explicit and implicit sexual attraction, the researchers measured the discrepancies between what people say about their sexual orientation and how they react during a split-second timed task. Students were shown words and pictures on a computer screen and asked to put these in “gay” or “straight” categories. Before each of the 50 trials, participants were subliminally primed with either the word “me” or “others” flashed on the screen for 35 milliseconds. They were then shown the words “gay,” “straight,” “homosexual,” and “heterosexual” as well as pictures of straight and gay couples, and the computer tracked precisely their response times. A faster association of “me” with “gay” and a slower association of “me” with “straight” indicated an implicit gay orientation.

A second experiment, in which subjects were free to browse same-sex or opposite-sex photos, provided an additional measure of implicit sexual attraction.

Through a series of questionnaires, participants also reported on the type of parenting they experienced growing up, from authoritarian to democratic. Students were asked to agree or disagree with statements like: “I felt controlled and pressured in certain ways,” and “I felt free to be who I am.” For gauging the level of homophobia in a household, subjects responded to items like: “It would be upsetting for my mom to find out she was alone with a lesbian” or “My dad avoids gay men whenever possible.”

Finally, the researcher measured participants’ level of homophobia – both overt, as expressed in questionnaires on social policy and beliefs, and implicit, as revealed in word-completion tasks. In the latter, students wrote down the first three words that came to mind, for example for the prompt “k i _ _”. The study tracked the increase in the amount of aggressive words elicited after subliminally priming subjects with the word “gay” for 35 milliseconds.

Across all the studies, participants with supportive and accepting parents were more in touch with their implicit sexual orientation, while participants from authoritarian homes revealed the most discrepancy between explicit and implicit attraction.

“In a predominately heterosexual society, ‘know thyself’ can be a challenge for many gay individuals. But in controlling and homophobic homes, embracing a minority sexual orientation can be terrifying,” explains Weinstein. These individuals risk losing the love and approval of their parents if they admit to same sex attractions, so many people deny or repress that part of themselves, she said.

In addition, participants who reported themselves to be more heterosexual than their performance on the reaction time task indicated were most likely to react with hostility to gay others, the studies showed. That incongruence between implicit and explicit measures of sexual orientation predicted a variety of homophobic behaviors, including self-reported anti-gay attitudes, implicit hostility towards gays, endorsement of anti-gay policies, and discriminatory bias such as the assignment of harsher punishments for homosexuals, the authors conclude.

“This study shows that if you are feeling that kind of visceral reaction to an out-group, ask yourself, ‘Why?'” says Ryan. “Those intense emotions should serve as a call to self-reflection.”

The study had several limitations, the authors write. All participants were college students, so it may be helpful in future research to test these effects in younger adolescents still living at home and in older adults who have had more time to establish lives independent of their parents and to look at attitudes as they change over time.

Other contributors to the paper include Cody DeHaan and Nicole Legate from the University of Rochester, Andrew Przybylski from the University of Essex, and William Ryan from the University of California in Santa Barbara. (via)

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Booty Politics Politics Religion Sex

The (sexist) week in review.

The week in review.

So, this has been an enraging week. On so many levels. I feel like I was so overwhelmed with all the mayhem I couldn’t even bring myself to blog about it every day. So here is the week in review. All of my rage in a quick summary.

We had PETA’s not so surprising ad campaign depicting a vegan boyfriend fucking a girl so good she ends up with a broken neck.

We had the grammys welcoming Chris Brown with open and forgiving arms a mere 3 years after he beat then-girlfriend Rihanna just nights before the grammys.

There was the male dominated birth control hearing, producing the now infamous photo of dudes making crucial contraception decisions.

Let’s not forget Virginia’s new bill that would require women who want and abortion to get an ultrasound.

And finally, we had the charming and quaint declaration of millionaire backer of Rick Santorum that “gals” should just hold an aspirin between their knees as a form of contraception. I had one of those moments thinking that Foster Friess is like your creepy sexist uncle of yours who keeps saying inappropriate shit and you know one day you are just gonna crack and yell at him for being a sexists fuck. Then I realized I actually have that uncle. And he actually said that aspirin thing and old dudes actually think things like that.

Friess is responsible for about 40% of the funds of this super PAC behind Rick Santorum. As if money in politics wasn’t bad enough before, it simply baffles me that super PAC’s ever became acceptable. Can’t we just immediately outlaw shit that insane? Without thinking about it, debating it, or mulling it over? Super PAC’s make it possible for one sexist old man to nearly singlehandedly support one crazy candidate and have it be somehow okay.

I feel like the best option here would just be to embarrass the crap out of the man. “Oh, btdubs, Foster, you could actually still fuck with your knees together. Have you never had sex from behind? Oh, you are totally missing out, you should try it sometime.”

There is never going to be an acceptable contraceptive solution that suggests we all be a little more prudish. So just get the fuck over it. People fuck. They don’t necessarily want babies. This isn’t the 1950’s.

As far as I can tell, this week needs to simply vanish. I mean really.

The one and only moment of sanity in all this madness:

Thank god for constructive comedy.